Faith...

I've recently thought of my childhood as I look back on how my mom raised us.  I remember her taking us to dance class with her, and we could sit in the corner or roam around the facility (which was a HUGE 2 level performing arts center... hardly appropriate for a 6 year old to wander!).  Wasn't she worried?  What if I got into trouble.  What if I got trapped somewhere?  What if I decided to go outside (which I did) and someone came and picked me up?  I've asked her WHAT she was thinking!?  She said she brought us everywhere.  She was never AFRAID of what people might think, what fits we might throw, etc.  Whatever happened, she said, she had an innate sense of herself to be able to handle it.  There was no fear, therefore she was never held back, and neither were we for that matter.


Well, this is my very first value project of my Personal Progress as an adult leader.  I'm a beehive advisor and was so excited when I learned that I could do my Personal Progress again.  It came a such an amazing time because I had fallen behind in my habit of scripture study and felt like I was in a rut.  What a perfect way to study!!  I also love the PP book always wants you to record your thoughts in your journal.

After almost 3 weeks of prayer in the morning and night, I've found that I'm not great at morning prayer.  I'm usually woken up by kids, or wake up before kids to exercise and I have a hard time remembering to pray right when I get up.... at 5:30am!  Luckily for my prayer rock, and Olive's obsession with it, she eventually reminds me to say my morning prayers. She loves helping put the stickers on my prayer chart:)   I've missed a few days but I'm grateful to have started the habit.  I really feel additional blessings and a sense of focus on what's important as I start the day.  I have more peace, more patience, and more motivation.  It really is the right way to start my day, and I'm sad I have to train myself to do it. I hope that one day this will become second nature like my evening prayers!

Along with reading the required scriptures and listening to talks on faith, I had been prompted lately to read my patriarchal blessing.  It had been a REALLY long time.  Then someone mentions 'patriarchal blessings' and I think OH YA I need to read mine. Then I forget.  BUT I did finally read it and wanted to record a small thought and bright ray of hope that I had as I read it, as pertaining to the faith that I had been focusing on these past few weeks.

There are about 3 times in my patriarchal blessing that mentions something about being "sorely tried" and having difficult trials in my life.  Whenever I read these things I get a pit in my stomach.  My mind immediately goes to the worst of things:  husband dies, becoming paralyzed or handicapped, losing a child, etc.   I am filled with fear.  Then when I read the subsequent words of ...well hope really.. that if I endure well, or keep the commandments, I will be able to get through those trials, I feel somewhat overwhelmed. How, when  my husband DIES, will I be able to continue on reading my scriptures, going to church?  The blessing says that even others will be uplifted by how I deal with MY trials.  Of course I imagine I am supposed to become a public speaker or something dramatic and talk about the devastation in my life.  But I don't want to do that.  I don't want to be sorely tried.  And cue more fear!

As I listened to a talk by Elder Russell M. Nelson from this last General Conference (April 2011) entitled "Facing the Future with Faith"  I realized quite simply what I already know.  Faith is the opposite of fear. Every person absolutely will be tried on this earth.  No one is exempt, not even Christ himself.  But as we increase our faith in the Savior and in the gospel principles, we have no need to face the future with FEAR but only with faith.  I realized how I need to work on my faith.  I need to make sure that my faith is strong.  I have been through trials in my life, and BECAUSE of my faith in the gospel they have felt fairly small, and in the grand scheme of things they are small.  But now I see that they may have also felt minimized because of my faith, and my eternal perspective.  I have no reason to believe that whatever trials I face in the future I cannot get through and should be afraid.

 I felt a sense of peace.  How lovely it is to go through life without fear knowing that whatever life throws at you, you can handle.    What a great lesson to teach your children.  Thanks Mom:)

I hope and pray I'll be able to face my future trials with faith, whatever they may be.  And my prayer WILL be twice a day:)